10 Things To Expect When Having Baby Number 2

with 20 Comments



Going through your second pregnancy and having your second baby is a whole new 'pain-in-the-balls' game.

A part of me desperately misses being a first time mum. Not the permanent state of tiredness or near death experiences due to utter exhaustion. Nah.

You can read all about my struggles and hopeless moments as a first time mum here.

I simply miss the first time hype of being a mum.

You know what I mean?

Because, to be perfectly honest, no one really gives a rat's bum about any of your subsequent spawn - and I don't really blame them.

On the real though, you probably won't even remember you're pregnant yourself until you've eaten three rolls of sushi and then curse yourself for forgetting, all the while thinking, 'Totally fucking worth it. That raw tuna doe.'

Welcome to the second child syndrome - if you thought your life was already going downhill, well, it's about to crumble like a Kardashian marriage.


Squad goals, anyone?



No, really. You don't. 

Chances are, you're going to start looking pregnant the morning after conception.

Save yourself 10 bucks on a pregnancy test and listen to your body attempting to tell you that it's not the half dozen Nutella doughnuts you devoured all on your own last night, it's a freakin' human growing inside of you.

Your now highly attuned Mumma bod seems to think it's completely acceptable to make you look like the 90s video game, Kirby, at 5 weeks pregnant.



Thanks, Mother Nature. I never intended to fit back into my skinny jeans anyway. I guess jeggings will do for the remainder of my life until I'm senile and grandma slacks become my OOTD.


Read More: The Truth About Childbirth & Babies



The most likely reaction you'll receive from friends after breaking your exciting news will be, "You're pregnant? No way. I thought you were still shedding weight from your last pregnancy."

Thinking of making an announcement post on Facebook? Don't bother. Unless you're emotionally prepared for half the amount of likes and engagement. If any.

Even your own mother's excitement will be pale in comparison to your first. After all, she's trying to enjoy her retirement, and it's a little hard to 'c'est la vie' when you keep adding to the squad and seem to be in the process of converting her home into a daycare centre.





Friends and family will come up with excuses of all sorts after you have your second baby. After all, there are more pressing matters to attend to, like, binge watching the second season of Stranger Things.

I heard my maternity ward roomie, who was a first time mum at the time, breathe a sigh of relief after visiting hours finished because her entire day was scheduled with visits from family and friends from the moment she popped open her eyes.

I could barely even find her in the sea of gifts, flowers and cards that she was buried beneath.

I looked at her wistfully, grabbed her shoulders and told her to embrace the fuck out of it because the next time she gives birth again, she will wind up like me - nostalgic and lonely AF.

Look at me, woman. My only company is that Daddy Long Leg spider hanging off the ceiling. 


Friend: "I'm, like, super busy tonight. Promise to come visit tomorrow. Or when your kid graduates."



Overdose on caffeine or drown your sorrows with red wine - which do you choose?

Yeah, I'd go both, too.

I can honestly say that I spend a large portion of my waking hours brainstorming creative ways of getting more caffeine inside of me.


Ground coffee beans sprinkled over my toast like 100s and 1000s?

Us mums are genuinely trying our hardest to not turn into ice addicts. I mean, let's be real. The effects of ice sound pretty good when you're teetering on the brink of exhaustion and can't seem to complete a single task around the house because your mum brain is so darn scattered.

(Disclaimer: I am, by no means, encouraging or condoning the use of methamphetamine. There's other ways to find focus, motivation and clarity, like, patiently wait until your kids are 18 and move out. Just sayin'.)

Realistically, you're either going to be on your twelfth shot of coffee and on the brink of cardiac arrest, or, you're going to YOLO it on a Monday night and raid the wine cabinet after you've put the kids to bed.


Need. Wine. Now.



At any given moment with your first baby, you'll know his exact head circumference, precise weight and how many nanometres he's grown in the past week.

That's how insanely obsessed I was with charting the growth of my first baby.

Not a single appointment with your maternal child and health nurse or doctor was missed, in fact, you were probably adding more appointments on top of appointments.

When it comes to your second baby, you can hardly even remember what you named him, let alone how much he's grown.

Look, he's alive, alright? He appears to be eating, shitting and batting his eyelids.. I'm going to assume he's growing somewhere in between those things.

You will have lost count of all the appointments you have missed and the vaccines he was due to have. Your doctor will probably start to think that you've joined the anti-vax movement, despite being completely pro-vax. It's just that on top of caring for two kids and trying to keep yourself alive in the process, shit gets overlooked.



The truth of the matter is that most waking times of the day, you'll be so preoccupied with your toddler and trying to remember what you were doing in the first place, that you'll 100% forget the fact that you gave birth to a second child.

Was it all a lucid dream? Were you even pregnant? Is this life even real?

Who knows.

All I know is that having kids is comparable to coming down from a massive trip or suffering a hangover that lasts for a decade, except - you don't get to sleep it off.

You're constantly dehydrated, your ears are always ringing from the yelling and screaming, and you have a pounding headache the second you wake up.

Then, out of nowhere, you hear a baby's cry emanate from somewhere within your house and it dawns on you that you are now responsible for the livelihood of two miniature human beings.

Yes. Right. I had a baby. Where did I put him again?


Oh, yeah. There he is. In the hammock. That's where I left him.



Having your second child with a toddler in the mix may have seemed like a good idea at the time - your brain construes this heartwarming image of your two children playing happily together, sharing toys and exchanging adorable smiles at one another.

Truth is, you have just welcomed The Hunger Games into your home.

Most daylight hours are spent ensuring that they don't somehow kill one another, because the moment you turn your head, your toddler will most likely come up with the brilliant idea to leap off the couch and use the baby as a landing pad.


"Look, Mum. It's my new toy - it blinks, breathes and cries. Can I whack it?"



It sure ain't going nowhere.

The retention of unwanted weight after your second pregnancy is a bizarre phenomenon, considering that your postpartum diet consists of 12 cups of coffee, your toddler's leftovers, and a mushed blueberry you found on the floor.

So, the question lingers - why the flipping hell do I still look 6 months pregnant?

Here's my theory.

The female body is a clever thang, for it's well aware that the probability of starving to death from looking after two children is so dangerously high, that we have now evolved into bears with the ability to put our bodies into hibernation.

Hence, why we have such hard time losing weight. I mean, your body's probably stocked up on a few winter seasons worth of fats for survival purposes to make up for all the times coffee and wine become your meal replacements.



Breastfeeding my first baby was an exercise carried out with great precaution.

Attempting to be as discreet as possible, I spent precious time carefully ensuring that no amount of boob was visible from any given angle. Preparing yourself to nurse a baby without exposing yourself is like diffusing a bomb.

Once your milk let-down is triggered and your other boob is erupting like an active volcano, all hell breaks loose. You frantically use your free hand to catch breastmilk and prevent it from spraying everywhere, while from a stranger's perspective it looks like you're fondling your boob.

It's not what it looks like, I swear. 

It's a very delicate situation.

Come second baby and you've grown so used to people seeing your tits 'n' bits that you begin to wonder why you even wear clothes anymore.

You probably haven't worn a bra and shirt since you left the hospital, but there's no need. You're ready to latch a baby on any time, anywhere because you are now the mother of all mothers. Come to me, babies. My nips are always ready and my supply steady.

I remember there were days where I didn't even realise that I walked out of my bedroom with my bongos hanging out of my bra.


I didn't choose the #mumlyf. The #mumlyf chose me. Yo.



As a Mum desperately trying to remain sane, you're constantly on the lookout for activities for toddlers to undertake so you can take a breather, or a micronap.

Yes. Some of these activities will require you to leave the house.

I know.. fuck me, right?

Other than taking the entire morning trying to convince your 2-year old to put on his shoes, you're also going to spend most of your time packing the nappy bag. It's easier to prepare for an apocalypse than it is to leave the house with kids.

Of course, your now 'independent' toddler will insist on climbing into the car seat all on his own. Brilliant.

Two Christmases later, he finally manages to wriggle his way into the seat. You can literally feel yourself ageing in the process.

Oh, snap. You left the baby in the house. When you return home to retrieve bubba, you peer at the time and realise that it's probably time to start cooking dinner.

After taking an entire day to pack and ready your kids for a trip outdoors, you realise it was the worst idea that you've ever come up with and resign yourself to spending the rest of your life within the four walls of your home.




If you're in Melbourne and looking for motivation to get outside while on Maternity Leave, take a look at my Melbourne on Mat Leave Vlog Series for tips, guides and inspiration on where to go and what to do to help you stay sane as a first time or stay-at-home mum.


I would love to hear about your experiences with Baby Number 2. Please tell me that I'm not the only one that's gone through Second Child Syndrome!


More Pregnancy & Motherhood Laughs Below:

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20 Responses

  1. Lauren
    | Reply

    This was freaking hysterical–I’m due with my second in 9 weeks and can relate already. Clothes, what clothes? Oh, you mean the 3 onesies in the drawer? That’s the extent of his wardrobe. Lol!

    • Tina
      | Reply

      Hahahaha that’s exactly how I was before my second was born. Had about 4 poop stained onesies from my first to rotate between.

  2. Samantha
    | Reply

    Hahahaha yes- mother of 2 I can relate to all of this!!

    • Tina
      | Reply

      Glad I’m not the only one hehe!

  3. Toni
    | Reply

    27 weeks in with boy no.2. His big bubba will turn 3 in January, and little Mr. will be here 3 ish weeks later.
    I laughed ssooooo hard reading this! Leaving the house is a challenge with just one small, mobile human. The thought of hunting said toddler whilst juggling his smaller self seems like the tangible definition of insane. The Hunger Games…I truly hope the odds are in our favour!!!😂😂😂

    • Tina
      | Reply

      Congrats on your second boy! I’ve got two little peewee’s as well, and boy, they’re a handful. Why do we do this to ourselves, right? Haha. I’m still waiting for the day the odds are in my favour! All the best with your delivery – I hope everything goes super smooth!

  4. Angela
    | Reply

    I just had my second child three weeks ago. You are right in on point and hilarious! Thanks for the much comic relief!

    • Tina
      | Reply

      Hi Angela – thank you for your kind words! Congrats on your second – let the fun times roll!

  5. Paige E
    | Reply

    I found not a single word of this true in my case. I am having a second after seven years of secondary infertility. Everyone I know I beyond ecstatic for us. Not every second child is expected while you still have a toddler. I definitely did not know I was pregnant this time because I lost 22 lbs in my first trimester and not from getting sick. I never had any morning sickness. And even though I am due tomorrow, I didn’t gain any weight this entire pregnancy. I did gain back the 22 lbs, so I’m back where I started. However, I actually got fit during this pregnancy. I jogged up until 37 weeks and lost all my back fat doing calisthenics.

    • Tina
      | Reply

      Hi Paige, I’m sorry to hear about your struggles with infertility and completely understand that this article may have offended you in some way or form. I’m, of course, aware that the age gaps of children different amongst families, but this is simply my lighthearted (and not to be taken seriously) account of have kids 2 years apart. Congratulations on your second and I hope you had a smooth delivery 🙂

  6. Nikki
    | Reply

    I’m sure it’s rough having two little ones but come on. After reading that I have to say I feel bad for your kids.

    • Tina
      | Reply

      Hi Nikki, thanks for commenting. I should make you aware that the article is not a serious account of my life with two kids – I simply enjoy writing lighthearted humour about parenting in hopes that mums can relate in some form and have a laugh.

  7. Vickie
    | Reply

    Loved your post – they are all spot on. My second child was born just before my first turned 15 months, i’m Not sure my feet touched the ground that first year! The Hunger Games – I had a month where I had to get a play pen as the moment my second child could sit my first pushed her over! Showering was impossible as I couldn’t leave them together. It did get better though! Also waiting for your child to get in the car seat independently….. this is a daily trial and baked me realise how little patience I have. Its especially fun with my second child now a toddler whose car door opens into the road!
    Now expecting my third – so at some point it got better!

    • Tina
      | Reply

      Haha happy to hear I’m not the only one, but also glad to hear that it gets better. Congrats on your third! I have heard that the third one is a breeze, so I’m hoping the same for you 🙂 I think I would need to invest in a mini bus if I were to have a third.

  8. Tiffany
    | Reply

    I personally thought this was hilarious and had truth in it! Definitely nothing to be offended over! I have a three year old girl and four month old boy and my life has been turned upside down. It’s crazy, but it’s good and I wouldn’t have it any other way. One thing I’d add to this list is my older child who used to be so well behaved before baby brother came along is now a handful! Not only do you have a baby that needs constant attention, but you now have a toddler or preschooler that is afraid she’ll be forgotten, so goes above and beyond at making her presence known. From coloring on the tv to ripping out pages of books, it’s never a dull moment at our house now. (She NEVER behaved that way before baby #2 came along)

    • Tina
      | Reply

      Thanks so much, Tiffany. Your comment means a lot to me 🙂 Big YES to misbehaved toddler after the arrival of a new addition. I had the exact same problem – clinginess (like, hanging off my leg the entire day clingy), escalated tantrums, and we went completely backwards with night time sleep. It was almost like I had two newborn bubs. But on the bright side, it all settled after our little one turned 6 months… so there’s a light at the end of the tunnel! I hope it gets better for you soon!

  9. naz
    | Reply

    hahaha u cracked me up…. I have a toddler turned 2 just last week and i am due any day….and all the bravery I was presenting my brain of calmness and quite when baby comes…went flying out the door with ur blog…. and i almost felt like I was talking to someone lol…
    I am sure I will be exactly u lol
    all the best and wish us luck too

    • Tina
      | Reply

      Hi Naz! I’m glad I could rouse some chuckles 😀 Haha I do have the tendency to exaggerate a tad bit, but it’s all in good fun. I hope you have a super easy baby and all the best with your delivery!

  10. Penny
    | Reply

    A friend who just had her second child sent me the link. I’ve been in the second kid trenches for over a year, so at about 5-6 months postpartum, Mother Nature decided that I’m doing too well, and blessed me with a third pregnancy within 3 years. So I got to mind a toddler and a baby while producing another human being. Thank you for the amusing read. It took me two days of subsisting on mostly caffeine and leftover banana stumps to read through all of it, and remembering what I read, but it made me feel so much better, especially since I just completed my first solo errand with two toddlers and the newborn (preemie to boot!) today, and halfway through my errands contemplated just driving the kids to my husband’s office, leaving them at the reception desk with a message to Daddy to come get his spawn, throwing my phone away, and going to get a deep tissue massage at the spa and margaritas for a few hours… I’m better now. (Yes, I have “Irish triplets” = three 3 and under babies. The youngest was an unplanned pregnancy. Breastfeeding touted as contraception? Haha… ha, ha… hork…)

  11. Candice
    | Reply

    This was hilarious and totally brightened my day! I’m currently pregnant with my second child and my older son is 2 1/2. I’ve watched my sister go through the transition from 1 babe to 2 and I could see it was a juggling act to put it mildly! Thanks for bringing some humor and honesty to motherhood. I love my wee fam but you must be able to laugh at the crazy times too! What did we do with all our free time pre-kids?! Oh that’s right – whatever the heck we wanted!
    Candice from Canada

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